The best for you

Fathin, me, and Gdah
It's an old photo

This post is specially written about my best friend, Dayang Nurul Fathin.
I know she will never read this, none of my best friend will ever read this, and that's the main reason I'm writing it here.

She has been one of my best and closest friend since high school and I know her well, her life, personality, character, problems etc. and we're still close until now although on our last hangout we were kind of awkward because it was been a while since we last met, we had nothing to say in the car and that was funny. All we did was... why was it so silent so we decided to tune our favorite songs in the car and sang it together. Lol nvm

That wasn't the point. Ok let me change 'her' as 'you' now. I particularly feel sorry for your lost. Your lost of youngest sister. I wish it won't be long. I hope she will get back soon. All I can do to help you is just pray. I believe, praying is the most powerful thing everyone can do. It is a silent effort, without people even knowing, and that makes it most sincere.

Physically, I'm doing nothing. Just share and spread the news.
I just can't do some things publicly, in other means, show it by words. I didn't call you on the day it occured. I didn't talk to you much, ask much. Maybe it sounds ridiculous. But I was actually feel sorry about it. I feel worried too.
I know I can't understand you, about how you feel, because I have never been in that situation.

People won't understand how much someone's feel without even experiencing it.

I can't pretend like I completely understand you. But I know God is the only one who could help you and your family. Even if I can't express anything in front of you, by words, I believe asking God to help you is the most powerful thing that not everyone can do. Some people might show it how much they care, but we don't know how much time and effort they did. And vice versa.
I really really not good in words, maybe I prefer actions more than words. And that's what most people mistaken about me.

I don't look like I care. I don't look like I'm sad. I don't look like I understand. I never wanted to show them to people. Because most people will take that for granted. I've always been taken for granted. I'm the one who always been forgotten, the one who always been used, the one who will always deceased from people's mind. But I will always pray for everyone especially for the one I love and trust. I will always pray for the best of everyone. I will always there when you need me, as long as I can. By that, I just feel I'm the luckiest and blessed human in the world. I just want to do something sincere, maybe that's the reason why I don't want to show it. Because it's just a typical of human, the nature, that you just find the tranquility of sincerity when no one is watching, when no one is knowing, of what good deeds you've done. I'm just the normal person who is afraid to get attention, who is shy of being praised, and who might feel proud and arrogant on my good deeds that people aware.

I know you have lots of problems but you just pretend like you don't. From personal to family. You covered them with smile, laughter, and happiness. You had been through many phases of life. What I know is just it's hard to be in your shoes. But you're so strong that you can face and fight with them. Sometimes I think life is unfair. Some people face more challenges. Some people don't. But to make them all fair, it's just may depends on their heart, or their strength, or anything...

Sometimes it's a blessings that my strength is that I'm forgetful in unimportant things and arguments, and for being good in pretending as I'm (or I was not pretending, I'm just really) a cold hearted person. Because with this, my memory always refreshed. It's like I've never been used, or hurt. So I can continue living my life like nothing happened. Well that's my greatest ability I'm just extremely cool (in some extent). Lol but I'm weakest in front of my family dayum - no ego for them though.
In any ways, God is the one who gave me the strength, the blessings which some people find it as luck.
Sometimes, I look like I've never been stressed. And some people questions, why am I always have time for people. I don't know exactly. I just appreciate everyone's existence in my life. As what I said, God is beyond everything. God is the one who gives us strength.

My point is, life is all fair. It's just some people face problem physically, mentally, or just really good in avoiding it.
As your best friend, we will always there to help you. Even if we are far away, remember that, "I might be far but never gone". God is always there to connect us, and help us. Especially for those who is always remember Him. And above all, God made our connection. God created eveyone and eveything we love. Everything happens for a reason.

We will always pray the best for you.



I'm sorry if you found this as a preach or another piece of ....